Battlestar + Mass Effect =

I like to backup many of my assertions about science fiction with hard science fact, and so here it is. Back in June, scientists fielded an impromtu question about the results of combining the greatest television show ever, Battlestar Galatica, with what will prove to be the greatest video game, Mass Effect. After several minutes of whispering, the scientists answered that they did not know, but they guesstimated that it might look like look like all the worst parts of the Bible, but with a positive spin. Four of the five then voiced their opinion on Trident gum.

Well, these scientists are about to find out.

Battlestar Galatica and Mass Effect are like the two hottest kids in school, who realize their position and agree that there's no other option than to start dating. In a move that the Bible predicts will trumpet the second coming of Jesus, Mass Effect is funding big screen showings of the new Battlestar movie, Battlestar: Razor, in several cities around the states.

There are so many things I want to say, I just don't know in what order to put them. Relevance? Importance? Alphabetical?

First, there are only two things that could improve Battlestar: like the Sith, no more, no less. One, if Kristen Bell joined the cast, but two, if it could be seen on a gigantic screen and receive the grandeur that it deserves (and if Gaeta came out of the closet; that would just be ironic).

Second, Mass Effect is the godsend of games, coming just in time to save console gaming from imminent death. You may say, console gaming is no where near imminent death. Well, after you see the new levels of gaming Mass Effect unlocks (with no cheat codes), you will remember this time we're living in as the brink of a gaming famine. Some diplomats discussed sending Mass Effect to Africa, but then decided against it, citing that without any world problems they wouldn't have jobs.

Third, in case you haven't been watching (and I'm talking to you, Steve, since you're the only one reading), the Battlestar webisodes have been blazing a virtual trail that has shut down servers and served justice to several internet criminals in the past couple of weeks. I'm talking about the two minute pieces concerning a young (and blue eyed?) Adama, as he carries out his first mission, beats a Cylon to death, and discovers the cast of the 1978 Battlestar Galatica, along with their Cylon model battlebots. Is that Leoben behind the mysterious, blood covered door? Steve, you and I will have to wait until Friday to find out.

Hopefully there's a crossover project planned for sometime late next year, where you get to save humanity as Helo and sucker punch Felix Gaeta (Cylon sympathetic trout!).