BSG: Morning Glory And Hallelujah, Commander

After almost a year, I have thrown off my sack cloth and cleaned myself up (kind of), because Battlestar has returned. I breifly put said sack cloth back on after learning that the season will be split into two: one ten episode run this spring, and a final ten episode run either this fall or next spring, immediately preceding the Seven Trumpets and Jesus Christ's Second Coming, because, let's face it, after Battlestar goes off the air, God's work will be finished.

A week ago, my computer metaphorical exploded, leaving me in a literal stupor. Yes, the sack cloth came back out of the closet, but I recently put the Apple to rest under a tree in my Roman backyard. As Andrew Bird says, "ScotchGuard Macintoshes will be carbonized." Well said, Mr. Bird, whatever it is you meant to say.

So I had to watch the season premier on an old jalopy desktop in the school studio, the whole dragness of which I felt in the opening minutes. The initial battle that just flows out like the water that turns the turbines of a dam was amazing to watch even in a screen that would be forced to scale down my fist to fit it in (and I almost put my fist into the screen, at a point where I was having buffering problems). Talk about grabbing the audience by the horns, or, in the case of audience members who don't have horns, the hair.

So much for the people who weren't entirely read up on their Battlestar. I guess that means Joe Kane is the only person reading this post. High Five, Joe!

The Four, that being Tigh, Anders, Cheif, and Tori, spent the episode flopping like fish, trying to get ahold of their new existence as robots. Tigh day dreamed of killing Adama, and Anders was unable to engage the enemy in combat. There was a friendship pow-wow, where it seemed like Tigh said, "There shall be no more nonsense," and produced a gun for a group suicide party, which everyone heartily agreed to, but that was left as is. Figures there wasn't any resolution.

When flying, Anders did make awkward eye contact with a Cylon raider, in which Anders eye turned red, and the Cylons retreated. Basically, the Cylon raiders recognized a Cylon, but the human models can't; this is explained in the third season, where the Cylon toasters can't distinguish between the human models. Does this mean the Final Five are of the same makeup? And will Anders' Bright Lite eye come into play, as receiving some sort of orders?

Baltar has become a leader of a girls-only-plus-two-extra-guys-just-in-case cult, where they commune with their mathematically challenged god(s) through love. And Baltar thinks it sucks. What's up with that? Also, what is up with Baltar getting religious? The ultimate atheist fell to his knees with vulnerabilty to pray for a sick child - the only thing keeping the scene in character was the fact that he made a point that he didn't want forgiveness. This is as suspicious as the number of gods the cult worships.

Kara is back, and medical survey says not a Cylon (duh. Too easy). She claims to have some sort of Contact-esque experience, remembering only bits and pieces of the six hours she claims to have been gone; everyone else remembers the two months that passed since she died. So Roslin calls shenanigans on her and locks her up, but apparently with a doctor's note that says she can go wherever she feels like. She does have pictures of Earth, and a little voice in her head that tells her the fleet is going the wrong way. Roslin however believes in the saying, "ice in the knees, ice in the threes," which doesn't really apply to the situation, she just believes it. She also believes in being cold hearted and calculating, and continues on the fleets current course, till Starbuck puts a gun to her head. End Scene.

IN OTHER NEWS, Apollo quits the flying gig, ergo Apollo can't be called Apollo anymore, Anders confesses undying love to Kara and Kara pretty much says that at some point in the future, she will kill Anders, Helo just can't stop himself from being everyone's best friend, and for some reason Roslin is shacking up with Adama.

Next week will probably begin with Roslin not getting shot, and then Kara will probably be in big trouble. And at some point, Lee will probably have to have a reason to stay on Galatica. I mean, he can't really not live there and still be in the action, but he needs an excuse. Hey, Baltar found one (overlooked compartment? Questionable). Overall: Yeah for Battlestar!